Benefits of being a Woman

• We got off the Titanic first.
• We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
• We never ejaculate prematurely.
• When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.
• Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.
• We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
• We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
• Taxis stop for us.
• Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
• We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
• We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
• We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
• We know The Truth about whether size matters.
• If we have sex with someone and don't call them the next day, we're not the devil.
• Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
• If we're not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
• Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
• It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
• We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
• If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it's because we're being emotionally neglected.
• We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
• If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
• We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
• We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
• We have the ability to dress ourselves.
• We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
• Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
• We know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
• Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
• We'll never regret piercing our ears.
• We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.